1. |
Cathedral
05:30
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I have concluded
that, within me,
there is not truly
a wish to die.
these visions of death
presented to me
are illusions.
there is
an agonizing
and inescapable
need to experience
myself, my true self,
free from the spectres
which haunt every
moment of my being.
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2. |
No Sanctuary
07:01
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self harm is a tedious ritual
that has outlived its usefulness.
I care not to mar my flesh, to let
my blood spill onto the floor
in useless spatters.
I remember how running water and
summer air would sting the wounds.
I remember the anxious glances
from friends and family.
I remember how with each cut I was not freeing myself,
but building yet another wall between me and myself;
between myself and the world.
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3. |
Colossi
05:19
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taller than mountains.
their hands could
scrape the sky.
fists with which to shatter men.
the gnashing of teeth.
the wailing of beasts.
stalking the land
like hungry ghosts.
gnawing on the bones
of an outdated world.
grasping at the lives they lost.
stalking the land
like hungry ghosts.
gnawing on the bones
of an outdated world.
grasping at the lives they lost.
it’s all over.
they are on the march.
and lo, death was left
in their wake; their
never ending desire
to stay alive.
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4. |
Cerberus
05:39
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5. |
Humanoid
04:11
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6. |
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“I need to pack up my life in 3 days.”
just a little bit to help me get through.
frivolous debates over what
to leave and what to take.
numb. surreal. acting out
the motions as if in a dream.
just a little bit to help me get through.
where I’m going will feel more like
home than this ever did.
I wish there was a way to carve
a space where you live in my head.
just a little bit to help me forget
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7. |
Nightmare Creatures
06:03
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(adapted from writings by Antonin Artaud)
all of us are enveloped by a secondary humanity
that is malevolent and sinister
which draws its roots from within the bodies
of everyday human beings
who at certain moments
realize they have become vampires
and brutally start to act as vampires.
those people are among the ones who didn’t kill
the beast in themselves as it was being born.
they’re the ones who refused to detach
themselves from the beast
because they were too attached to it.
and this magic,
the ugliest, most sordid and
vile magic that can be conceived of
is entirely based
on the action
of one man against another man
and that’s the only magic
I want to
be concerned with
here:
because the
world
is dying from it.
those people are among the ones who didn’t kill
the beast in themselves as it was being born.
they’re the ones who refused to detach
themselves from the beast
because they were too attached to it
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8. |
Goliath
04:29
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Goliath.
towering.
death in living flesh.
I shall not bend my knee
in submission. I shall
not prostrate my face
against the earth.
filled with bloodlust and
an indomitable will.
I am determined
to leave you rotting
at my feet.
Goliath.
tremble with fear.
be consumed
by my shadow
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9. |
The Depths
04:33
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they pierce me.
lacerations, my bleeding
wrists my bleeding mind.
is there no escape?
each day and night
I writhe in agony
as these death
sensations
course through my veins
and smother my thoughts.
my soul is asphyxiating,
I must break the hands
gripping its throat.
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10. |
Room 302
06:41
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I woke up today with
a song in my head:
one that I have not heard
before.
and yet I sense that somehow
it has always been there. stalking
me. mocking me. perhaps even
marking me.
is there no salvation?
no relief?
perhaps this is what defines me.
do these notes, in fact, sustain me?
what happens when it ends?
will I, too, cease to exist?
clinging to this song in desperation
as though my will alone could
guarantee its eternal duration.
it is all in vain.
entropy reigns.
is there no salvation?
no relief?
it is all in vain.
entropy reigns
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11. |
Swallow the Blade
05:34
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Ghosts of Shadow Moses Ottawa, Ontario
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